Drastic Comics

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This strip nearly happened. I spent like 2 hours watching MTV last week and if I didn't realise in time that throwing TV out the window would make me unable to play Mario, it would have been lying in tiny pieces in my front garden. And the reason I didn't fling myself out the window?? That's exactly what that evil demon seed of station wants and I'm not caving. Oh no. I won this day MTV. I won this day. I know I sort of played fast and loose with subtlety with this strip and it may have gone unnoticed, such is the power of my intentions. I hate MTV. MTV is added now the exalted ranks of shit that I simply can't stand anymore. Well done MTV. But yes, You've thought me some things and I think its best for me to acknowledge them and move on with my life.

1. I want to beat Madonna's head in with a shovel.. I mean, she's a 47 year old woman, for god's sake. Who in the name of all that's good and holy is she fooling with this shit? And I'm not talking about her appearance, wither, if she can afford a body like that, sure show if off. I may never have an erection again, but work away. But seriously, just shut up. You are not bono, no matter how hard you try to be, no one cares, so please, leave us in peace, you tramp. Go back to raising your children and ruining Guy Ritchie's career. At least that way we won't have to see you whenever I turn my head. But I could never be as eloquent as Tyler Durden, so I'll let him finish up on my thoughts on Madonna as they are remarkably similar.
2. Uncle tom, or should I say Playa? I get that as a suburban, middle class white man, I have no real place to comment on black culture, but seriously, they are still fucking you big time, guys. They've taken that little niche you carved for selves with Rap and Hip Hop, and White Coperate America have fucking raped it. I think you can safely step back from the situation and see when a pasty white guy who would be listening to heavy metal and country music if it wasn't for MTV, is dressed head to toe in Roc-A-Fella, that something is up. You're still being used guys. And the worst part is that they have you thinking this is a good idea. Take from all that what you will. But if aske me, you're still being fucked over by the man. There's just a nicer face behind it this time is all.
3. If I ever see Nick Lachae, I'm giving him a big, big hug and buying him a beer. That poor bastard. I mean not only does he make the biggest mistake of his life marrying Jessica Simpson, but Jesus Christ but to have that massive error in judgement immortalised for all time on video?? Oh man. I weep for you Nick. I truly, truly do. I know a lot of you guys are looking at the screen and thinking isn't Jessica Simpson really hot? Isn't he lucky to have been married to that? I'm sorry, but hot she may be, but I can guarantee that we've all owned goldfish with more personality, intelligence and talent that Jessica Simpson. What I'm saying is, snob that I am, I would want more criteria other than a killer chest when I decide to settle down. The ability to hold down a conversation other that "I like chicken" would be one. I know throwing the hotness into the equation makes for some difficult decisions, but at least you'll know better, for wife number two man. I'm serious about that hug too man. You look like you could need it.

Hmmmm so much has happened in recent times. Most importantly it was my birthday! Which was fun and quiet, the way i wanted! Kick ass presents from some kick ass friends, so thanks so much you crazy kids.....

Anywho, by now everyone should've heard about the death of Richard Pryor. I realise that this occurred quiet awhile ago, however since neither Adam or I have ranted since then, I felt something needed to be said.

I know I can speak for Adam when I say we were both huge fans. Without Richard Pryor, we wouldn't have gotten some of the great comedians of recent times. I always think it strange that some of the funniest people in the world suffer from some of the worst depressions. I suppose it's the other side of the extreme. I always think that you can't make other people happy, unless you're happy yourself, but that doesn't mean you can't make them laugh.

Spike Milligan, Richard Pryor, Bill Hicks, Peter Sellers: fantastically funny men, with fantastically fucked-up personal lives. It seems like if you start doing stand-up, you've pretty much signed a contract for bizarre adventures in relationships and addiction!
Still when it comes down to it, we're not gonna remember Richard Pryor as a drug addict, and we're not gonna remember him as the guy who set himself of fire.
It's Richard Pryor, the amazing story-teller, the man who stood up, told the truth and made us laugh while doing so.
It's Richard Pryor, the comedian.
And he will be sorely missed.

As ever i'm on my email, should people feel the need for contact.
And check out our new blogspot http://drasticcomics.blogspot.com/

Later Days

© 2005,2006 Adam Murray