Drastic Comics

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What can I say? Iím a genius, obviously. Jessica Alba should be Americaís secret weapon. Why should America spend billions of dollars on their army when they can easily spend a couple of million getting Jessica Alba, Lindsay Lohan, and Alyssa Milano to whore themselves out to foreign dictators. Obviously, Milanoís for those countries that are only now getting ďWhoís the Boss?Ē I canít imagine Saddam curling up a bucket of popcorn to catch up on Charmed. Well, he canít now anyway. I donít think prison gets good TV. Anyway, angelic as she may be, Jessica Alba is a whore to draw. I still donít think it looks like her. Meh. AnywaysÖitís voting time!! Itís the return of everyone favourite reprobate, the Sideburn!! If your new to Drastic and wondering, ďSideburn??Ē check out his feats of awesomeness here.

Okay, now here are the winners of the SCOTT PILGRIM competition. If you guys could email me with your postal address, thatíd be great. If you donít, we have plenty of other contestants who didnít win one.


So send an email to adam@drasticcomics.com as soon as possible guys. Enjoy your comics. Iíll probally have a similar contest for when Sharknife 2 comes out. Hopefully Iíll have enough cash to give away both volumes.

Speaking of Spider-Man, Iíd just like to throw my two cent in about this whole ďSpider marriageĒ debacle that has gripped comic message boards with an almost Action Man-esque Kung Fu grip. Essentially the problem is that well over 20 years ago, Peter parker and Mary Jane got married. As happy couples do. As all growing adults do. But now, the fact that Spider-Man is married is getting Marvel editorial in a massive tizzy. They are essentially blaming the marriage for all the problems the Spider-Man books are having at the moment. Not the fact they hired writers who couldnít script their way out of a paper bag. I donít care how awesome people say Babylon 5 was, J M Straczynski had about a years worth of material in him. Heís been on the book for nearly 5 years. Editorial is basically saying that having Peter married and happy is taking nearly everything away from his roots. WRONG. Sure, Spider-Man was easy to identify with in the 60ís when he was a teenager. But itís not because he had acne, or girl troubles or wrestling with puberty. He was one of the only Superheroes that actually has a three dimensional personal life. Parker swing around as Spider-Man fighting villains was only half the story. The other half was all about Peter and his life. So the marriage isnít the problem. The problem is that people have forgotten that Peter Parker as his daily life is just as important as Spidey knocking seven shades out of Doc Ock.

© 2005,2006 Adam Murray